If you think nobody cares if you are alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
Did you hear about the depressed archeologist? His life was in ruins.
A man borrowed money from a friend to get out of a crisis. “Thank you,” he said, “I will be forever in your debt!” His friend replied. “That is what I am afraid of.”
Veni, Vedi, Velcro – I came, I saw, and I stuck at it!
Movie star: ” I just had all my teeth capped.” Agent: “That’s putting your money where your mouth is.”
Thoughts to Ponder
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. ~ Soren Kierkegaard
Stop chasing the money, and start chasing the passion. ~Tony Hsieh
Art is a human activity having for its purpose the transmission to others of the highest and best feelings to which men have risen. ~ Leo Tolstoy
Daily Chuckle
Bank of Dad
When I returned home from college for spring break, I noticed a note on the refrigerator door. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work. I promptly added: “Send Michelle money every month.” A few days later, my brother wrote: “Make payments on car for Jason.” My boyfriend joined in with: “Buy Tom a Jeep.” Finally, my father added a new goal to his amended list: “Wean kids.” – ajokeaday.com
What do you call bears with no ears? B
Why dont blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.
As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. But hay, it’s in my jeans.
A guy goes into a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?”
The lawyer responds: “I charge £1,000 to answer three questions.”
“Bloody hell – That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?”
“Yes. What’s your third question?”
© 2018, Fran Klasinski. All rights reserved. on republishing any parts of this post, you must supply a link to the original post
This is hilarious Fran! Brought a smile big time.